Growing up in the 70’s when Bill Withers had a hit called Lean on Me, I mostly ignored the words but liked the tune. On Friday, the actual lyrics really hit me hard with the loss of a very dear friend, long-time broadband advocate and NTCA leader, David Crothers, Executive Director of the Broadband Association of North Dakota.
Lean on me
When you’re not strong
And I’ll be your friend
And I’ll help you carry on….
That was David Crothers for me.
It would be hard to exist in the NTCA community without some interaction with David, long-term chairman of our Government Affairs committee. Why did he have that role for so long? Because David was a master at understanding people, priorities, needs, political winds and where they all intersected. He always started his RTIME presentation with a respectful nod to the membership before starting in on his annual report. It was old school and it was lovely and insightful, all at the same time.
I first met David more than 30 years ago at the Department of Agriculture, waiting with bated breath for a Rural Telephone Bank board meeting. I was about 8 months pregnant and needed to slide myself to sit “gracefully” along the walls of the headquarter building prior to a meeting. David, newly returned from DC to his beloved North Dakota to represent all of the NTCA North Dakota members as the head of the state association, joined me and instead of judging, slid down on the wall and plopped down on the floor next to me to introduce himself. A lifelong friendship was born. And from then on, I was known as “Missy” to David.
From Government Affairs committee meetings, to comparing notes on political and policy developments, to sharing personal life developments, David exemplified why I loved my career with NTCA and why I stayed so long and came back again - because “work” went far beyond the boundaries of simply work and the truly real personal relationships added a dimension to what I did on a daily basis that gave joy and meaning to 12 hour days.
I managed to find my way to North Dakota on a regular basis - given the significant number of active broadband providers we had in the state - and nearly every single time, David was at the Fargo or Bismark airport to pick me up with a Diet Coke in hand, and a spare for me. From David hosting gatherings at his poolside “suite” at the Bismark Holidome to his summer meetings in Medora, home of the Theodore Roosevelt Park, to his endless invitations to come to North Dakota - rain or shine or snow - every memory will forever bring a smile to my face. Except for maybe the time I was stuck in Bismark with an early December blizzard and he found it fairly hilarious as I toughed it out at the local airport until I caught the last plane willing to take off in North Dakota weather. But even then, I found a cheering text message from him when I landed in Minneapolis an hour later.
One tradition that had been established by David and our mutual friend, Randy Houdek, CEO at Venture Communications in South Dakota (another opening for endless competition between the two on the Dakotas and which one had higher status at any given point in time) was to grab dinner at an NTCA Fall Conference or RTIME before the craziness began. It was our chance to connect as friends, center ourselves, share on our personal front before moving into full meeting mode. It was always my favorite evening.
NTCA’s 2022 RTIME was no different. I had pinged David to see if he would be game for “grabbing room service cheeseburgers one night in Dallas” at our latest meeting. His response, as usual “I would like that very much. I will make myself available on the night that works best for your schedule.” But the dinner did not happen as David had some aches and pains that required him to stay home and ultimately led to his last diagnosis, of three, for the return of cancer. In typical David form, during the meeting, he sent me a note asking me how it went. Not the meeting itself, but how it went for me. That was always the David difference - he wanted to know how you were doing and he truly cared.
Because David has been “Superman” before and managed to kick cancer to the curb previously, I had assumed and hoped he would do it again. But alas, the latest bout proved to be too much for a man who still had so much more to give - to his industry - but more importantly to his family and friends.
David taught me much about life. Including never waiting until things are too late. I cherish the call I had with him last week regaling him with silly stories from work and family and most importantly getting a chance to tell him good bye and that I loved him dearly. I found myself listening to an interview David had done with a North Dakota television station last fall on broadband needs for North Dakota as a reason to hear his voice again when the call came today.
My heart broke and I understood why they call it heartache. His loss hurts. While I ache, I mostly ache for his young daughter Riley who has been the apple of his eye since her birth 19 years ago. From toddlerhood to coming with “dad” to NTCA meetings, to her prowess on the golf course to going off to college, she has been the glow to his being. What a load she has carried and with grace well beyond her years. She is her father’s daughter in ways that I hope she will come to know and appreciate.
With that, I know that everyone who every crossed paths with David - from Members of Congress to ND PUC to the BAND members in the state, to so many around the country who called him a friend - we grieve together for a man who made the ordinary extraordinary and who made everyone feel cherished and valued.
David, you will be so missed.